All I ever wanted, all i ever needed

Every time I visit my parents place I discover something that makes me thing about the past. Last time I found my first keyboard and I got myself thinking if we should always follow our natural talents, passions in our grown up lives? I started to wonder if I shouldn’t continue my old passions? What made me stop it?

Since I was remember I always wanted to create something. Not sure where it comes from but I did. When my sister got a Casio keyboard for her birthday I was obsessed with testing all combinations of sounds, melodies, rhythms. I was 5 and I don’t anymore anything from the time before this period – totally amnesiac. For sure I was really ambitious and the fact that my sister new how to do something made me want to learn exactly the same thing, like reading at age of 4, at first.

When I think about my childhood i need to admit it was full of creativity: playing piano, owning my own blog, playing guitar, showing theater scetches in front of the family, pretending I was a radio speaker and recording myself on my father’s tapes. Together with my sister we were recording crazy videos, painting, singing. The funniest thing was to create our own record tape with own music and the tape cover. Composing music was my favorite part of the day and I convinced my parents to subscribe me for music lessons.

I think I lost myself somewhere and I totally need to get back to the feelings I had at that moments. Focusing to much on my work and everyday’s routine may not fulfill my llife in 100%. My current passion, travelling is fantastic, as I can discover new places and it makes me feel happy, but I want something to be passionate about everyday and it doesn’t include dreaming.

I am an explorer. I need to feel there is always something to discover, invent. I do discover new cities, areas, people, tastes, music, feelings, but I need to create as well.

Seems like a huge plan and this is why I got back to writing.

Tori Amos – enjoy the silence

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